ETR Fall/Winter 2022 Health Promotion Catalog

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Dating What’s Normal What’s Not

Body Image You don’t have to live with a poor body image. There are things you can do to feel better about your body.

Getting Help Changing the way you feel about your body isn’t always easy. If you have some symptoms of poor body image and they are interfering with your normal daily activities, you can get help. There are people trained to help with body image problems. Physicians, counselors, dietitians, social workers and psychologists can all help. Search online for “body image help” or “healthy body image.” For lower fees, look under “social service agencies” or “mental health agencies.” Many medical plans offer counsel ing. Your employer may have a program that offers help. As with other health care providers, if you don’t like the first counselor you see, try someone else.

Helping Yourself You don’t have to live with a poor body image. Here are some things you can do to help yourself feel better about your body. ■ Ask yourself how much your feelings are shaped by the messages you get. Do you really ■ Think of people you like and admire. Think of people you know whose bodies don’t fit the “ideal.” Do they like themselves? Do you think of them as attractive? ■ Focus on the things you like about your body. Are you healthy? Does your body do the things you need it to do? What are your best features? ■ Think about the things you don’t like about your body. You can learn to accept the things you don’t like. Some things you can change. Exercise or a new hairstyle or clothes might help you feel better about yourself. ■ Remember that your body is only one part of who you are. dislike your body? Or are you “buying into”media messages?

The Art of Asking Once there’s an attraction, either person can take the next step. HOW DO YOU ASK? Some p ople ask outright. They just suggest ge ting toge her. “I’m usually pretty straightforward—‘I’d like to call you sometime, can I have your number?’ or ‘Do you want to go for coffee or to a movie?’ ” Some people are more subtle. They might not feel comfortable asking directly. “It’s pretty easy to encourage an invitation. I might say, ‘I noticed you jogging, I’m a runner too,’ or ‘I’ve been wanting to see that movie, too.’ ” “I just make it obvious I’ ll say yes if I’m asked—with body language, by listening, by being interested.”

What About Sex? Sexual attraction is usually a part of dating. Having sexual feelings about a date is common. But when or whether to have sex is up to both people. Some guidelines: Are you both ready? Neither person should feel pressured to have sex. “I’m not having sex at all for now. In my experience, sex can really mess up a relationship if you do it before you feel ready.” Can you talk about it? Talking about sex can be more intimate than having sex. If you feel embarrassed or reluctant to discuss limits, protection, likes and dislikes, chances are it’s too soon to have sex. “I always talk about sex before it happens. If we can’t talk about what we want and how to stay safe, I don’t want to have sex.” Does sex have the samemeaning for both of you? If one person feels sex is a serious commitment and the other doesn’t, it can cause conflict. “I’m monogamous about sex. I want to have sex with one partner who wants to have sex with only me.”

Who Pays? Who pays for a date is sometimes an issue. It may reflect culture and tradition: “I think whoever invites should pay for the date.” It may be purely practical: “I don’t think it’s fair that one person is expected to pay, especially since a lot of people are on budgets. I feel better about paying my own way.” $ Decide what you think about paying and why. When it seems appropriate, discuss the issue with your date.

Remember

Healthy bodies come in lots of shapes and sizes.

This brochure is not intended as a substitute for your health professional’s opinion or care. Written by Karen Ross, LCSW. Reviewed 2019. Revised 2014. © 1995 ETR. All rights reserved. It is a violation of U.S. copyright law to reproduce any portion of this publication without written permission of publisher. Title No. H114 [19-0524]

Your friendliness, your feelings, your intelligence and how loved and cared about you feel are all important.

Professional models were used in all photos. This brochure is not intended as a substitute for your health professional’s opinion or care. Written by Kay Clark. Reviewed 2019. Revised 2016. © 2000 ETR. All rights reserved. It is a violation of U.S. copyright law to reproduce any portion of this publication. Title No. R839 [18-1204]

Remember

Dating can be fun, exciting or confusing— all at the same time!

K “When I first get to know someone, I like to be with a group of friends .”

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